That sentence stuck with me ever since I watched John Wick. It’s Sunday night and I am holding the promise I made to myself to write 5 days a week, one day for the other.
It both feels really good to prove myself how worthy of my own word I am, and difficult not to just get in my pyjamas and slip in oblivion.
I have recently realised what those 3 words mean. Really.
I have always been the good student, good daughter, good practitioner, making effort and working hard.
Unfortunately I was purposeless at that time and all those effort drained me.
Then I needed to take things easy, let go of the need to be perfect, and learn how to trust my own abilities. To me it very much felt like giving in to mediocrity… (Although it’s not). It took me years.
And I have finally completed the circle. I am back to square one ready to focus, commit and willing to do the work.
I have made my peace with the idea of effort.
I know now how it feels to have a purpose.
I have learn how to keep the balance.
And above all I know how to trust myself. Unconditionally.
Focus. Commitment. Sheer will.
They are not taking any toll on my anymore.
I choose them.
And it feels good, uplifting and amazing to know that I have in me a self-regulation system.
I don’t have to second guess myself, I don’t have to follow a schedule, I don’t have to check on myself.
This state of utter freedom and trust really brings out the peace, serenity and joy that life has to offer.
A new week is starting. And life is good.