Here I am and I haven’t written anything for weeks. I feel very ashamed of myself.
There’s a part of me that still is judging me for not going through. for changing my mind, for lacking consistency.
And there’s this other part of that works her ass off to get my mind to change as I learn, to let go of what no longer serves me as soon as possible, to truly be in the moment and now what I need and honour that need.
There also is a part of me that knows when I am avoiding work (or things) because I am a little afraid, or ‘lazy’ (such a hard word, let’s call it non pro active). She knows that it is good for me to challenge myself and by doing things new, by learning and putting myself out there I will get the life I want to be in.
But first I have to Be that version of myself I actually so deeply want to be.
I’ve got to realise that I am already her.
There’s shadow work to do. Ancient history to release. Past patterns to let go of. Veils to unveil.
I am not a big fan of Healing. I find that you can spend your whole life healing if you wait until you are healed to do things. There also is a tendency to victimise ourselves.
But I have to admit. I haven’t found any other words to actually describe how you feel and what you do when you are healing. (I know I tend to overthink things but I can live with that)
So let’s call it healing. Let’s call it doing the inner work, the shadow work. Let’s use words that sometimes have lost their true meaning because of how often and how badly they are being used.
Let’s just connect to the intention behind. Let’s just agree to Be.
In the end we are all saying the same thing and all going through Life.
I find that we all have more in common than we think (shocking news to me truly).
We all are unique and no matter how many times I have read, heard or said that we are one and we are all the same. I actually get to feel the deep truth in that.
It’s always the more obvious that is last left to learn.
Enjoy a great evening,
to the pleasure to be typing on my keyboard again soon,