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Out of the darkness

I have all the reasons to celebrate. I have come out of the darkness.

Today my yogi tea quote said: without darkness we wouldn’t know light.

Usually I hate these obvious quotes.

Usually I don’t even bother reflecting on them.

But as I listen yet again to a conversation with @melanieannlayer I remembered my femininity. I remembered where i come from, what I have been through, Nothing huge, but emotionally for me it was.

I moved from being very depressed at the single idea of working my whole life as a physio.

I couldn’t see the light out of the tunnel.

I went back living with my mum who took care of me as if I hadn’t spent 5 years doing things for myself. I couldn’t even get in touch with my friends, I had no energy, no will to do anything, no desire to have fun.

Life seemed pointless. I didn’t understand. Nothing made sense. And I didn’t find anyone to talk to. Except my mum. Except my then boyfriend who is now my husband.

I knew somehow I had to wait even if I couldn’t possibly phantom how. The first opportunity that presented itself was my boyfriend internship in Germany. I knew I had to move, I knew I had to take action no matter what it looked like.

I didn’t speak a word of German I moved in with him for 9 months. I did cleaner job, I did tutoring jobs, I did waitress job.

Then he was offered to do a EngD in London, again I followed him, that was the action that was the closest to me being happy. I managed small jobs.

After a year I finally gave up on physio. I had in mind to start my own business.

I chose Pilates teacher and Massage therapist to start with, it went pretty well.

Until I hit the wall again, I could try as hard as I wanted to do it, to prove myself worthy, to make it happen. I couldn’t lie to myself for too long.

My body reacts very quickly, usually with eczema. I become exhausted, I become irritable and overwhelmed. I have to force myself to be that kind version of myself I know I am. I gave up. Again.

Over times I made the conscious decisions not to take that path, even though everything looked good and success was within reach. It didn’t make sense.

Not many people understood. Fortunately my friends, my family, they didn’t need to understand to support me. I pivoted. Multiple times.

I gave in to life coaching, it had been on my mind for years. I wasn’t fully qualified for it, and didn’t intend to put myself in a box again. I tried. Shyly. I tried and life kept happening. I kept showing up in some ways. I kept learning about myself. I kept accepting, handling, evolving, gracefully. I kept feeling miserable at times, but I could tell it wasn’t like before, it was less intense, it lasted less long.

Slowly I became able to tell who I was, even when emotions overwhelmed me. without realising it, life became exactly what I wanted. I have a beautiful loving family. I live somewhere I feel I belong. I feel genuinely deeply happy. I feel one. I feel like the world itself is a happy place. I feel connected to this world.

Without realising it, no trumpet, no jingle song, I joined the light. I have left the darkness behind me. There still are some shadows showing up from time to time.

But My path is so clear, the sun shines brightly above it and whispers promising secrets to my heart.

I have found my way back home, back to myself and I know that nothing can ever happen to me again now that I am united again.

Now that I am one, now that i feel whole.

During your journey, remember to stop sometimes. Let your soul catch up. And watch how far you’ve come.

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This is the thing that makes our life soooo hard! Truly.

In a way or another we expect.

We expect because we believe in something.

We expect because we fear other people’s judgement.

We expect because we have had a lot of experiences.

Again, the relationships we have, the reality we experiment, it all reflects what we think. The thoughts we have.

Others are the mirror to our own heart.

Events are here to show you what you think of yourself.

How you react, how you feel is based on what you think, what value you hold dear, what story you keep writing.

Therapists, psychologists, counsellors they are here to give you a hand.

Healers, holistic practitioners, psychics, they are here to give you a hand.

Coaches, mentors, gurus, they are here to give you a hand.

So many people are offering their advices, their knowledge, their wisdom;

through books, youtube videos, coaching, training, sessions, workshops, posts, artworks, and more.

Open your mind to the possibility that you can choose.

Open your mind to the possibility that you can have the perfect opportunity for you to grow.

Open your mind to the possibility that everything is happening in your favour.

Because it is.

You are learning.

You are evolving.

That’s what we can expect for sure from life 😉

Speak soon,

Floriane x

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The perks of being unwell

I believe I already wrote about it but it still amazes me so here I come again.

I’ve had an amazing week last week when my dad came to visit. We used to be like dogs and cats and always (lovingly) arguing with each other. It got to the point where I became tired of it. I just wanted something else and nothing I could tell my dad seemed to change anything. Most probably because I kept telling him all the wrong things he was doing and how I was so unlike him.

Recently we shifted and changed that story.

I keep being annoyed at him and telling him when he’s not doing something right #virgomode but I don’t cling onto it. And it changes everything. I can laugh at my overcontrolling self. I can laugh when he is mocking me. He sees when I am right, and because a father/daugther love can’t be broken he keeps accepting my ever growing changing self and I accept that he is not indeed the perfect dad I wanted him to be and it’s perfectly fine as it is.

That being said, I managed to catch a cold when he was visiting and I did my best to take care of myself and rest to avoid being too sick so I guess I just avoided the worst.

I shared on Instagram in my stories about my love/hate relationship with sickness. I love it because it helps me ground myself , rest, and focus on what’s really important. I hate it because it doesn’t feel good at all, I have to slow down way too much and everything becomes unbearable.

Talking about mild sickness here like a cold, sore throat etc..

In those moment, I always reach a point where I get to decide whether or not my life is good.

And every time. Every single time. I always finally decide that Yes, my life is indeed very good.

It’s a shame I have to wait to be sick to feel this truth so intensively. I can feel it every other day too, but the truth of it when I am unwell is different, it makes me feel different. I just see the world with different (very tired?) eyes.

Both stories to say that indeed feeling good, being happy, having a good life is a choice we make every second.

It’s not always easy and sometimes the only thing that feels like feeling good is dwelling on things forever and that’s ok.

There will be a time when you feel like you’re ready to get over it.

The more you become aware of those sensations and feelings. The more you practice consciously choosing. The more you will be able to choose different sooner.

That’s it.

Choose now, or later, it’s all good.

The story is yours.

Speak soon,

Floriane x

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Another meaning

Not long ago I had an epiphany.

I really started to feel what it means to let go of something consciously.

You are not holding it back trying to forget about it. You are not avoiding the feeling. You are not dwelling on it either. It’s something else.

So much has been written about it already but again you have to see (and feel) for yourself to really get it.

How to hijack it? How to learn it already? How to reach that supposed next level?

It seems like we are always in need of progressing, evolving (which is great) at hyperspeed (which is great too). But what if trying too hard and constantly looking for more or faster becomes a flaw? What if the process itself of becoming ourselves, grounding ourselves, living better leads us to more stress instead of making our life easier?

Feeling good and happy is what most of us are looking for isn’t it?

How do we not forget that in our search for embodying so much goodness?

Answer lies most likely in the present moment. Again.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Be present.

Be here,

Everything you are looking for is already here.

Everything you long for is already here.

Look at your goals and dreams and thank them for lighting your path and giving your directions.

Thank yourself, your body, your mind and your heart for reminding you of what is important at each moment.

The now. Just the Now.

Our life is a succession of Now.

Aim for a future.

Strengthen your arm.

And Fire away trusting that Now is exactly what you need.

You do not have to do anything else but living the Now.

You only have to make a decision Now. To smile Now. To feel good Now.

Build a happy life by feeling good Now. It’s the only way to look back and see the succession of Happy Nows.

So the answer is in you.

Let go not because you want to let go (which you want of course but your intention isn’t there) but because it’s no longer a part of you. It is obvious to you that you do not need it anymore.

How to get there????

Find this mushin place, this no mind place.

Find it in meditation. Find it in breathing. Find it in mindful moment. Find it in happy moment. Find it in sad moment. Find it outside. Find it inside. Find it exercising. Find it cooking. Find it falling asleep. Find it waking up.

Find your innner peace. Feel it. Find it as many times as you need and want.

Make a habit of being in this no mind state.

Only then can you feel and see things as they are. Just things.

Only then can you detach yourself from your emotional reaction.

Only then can you decide in peace.

Only then can you build a serene life.

One moment at a time <3

Speak soon

Floriane x

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Balance in everything

Morning thoughts:

The hardest thing isn’t to keep your balance. The hardest thing is to know where your balance is.

And to find out you have to try.

You may know the theory and heard of all made recipes before but you won’t know until you try it.

You have to try and fail.

Try, feel it and fail.

Try, know where to look at and fail.

Try and just fail again.

Try and keep your balance for longer.

Try again.

Lose it and find it again. Keep it and then loose it.

Losing your balance isn’t a shame.

It’s actually part of balancing.

The only thing that makes a difference is that when you’re really good at being balanced, you don’t let yourself lose your balance for too long, you are able to catch yourself in time and get back to it instantly.

So, keep seeking for your balance. Keep trying. And know that with every fail you come a little closer to your goal.

You will get to know your unbalance so well so you can choose not to get there.

Balance in everything <3

Speak soon,

Floriane x

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The body

The body reacts to what’s inside.

Because we can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not here.

Because we can’t feel it doesn’t mean it can’t hurt.

We can become very good at numbing ourselves from our feelings. We avoid our emotions. We don’t want to feel the pain, whether physical or mental or emotional.

The body can take it for so long, until it can’t anymore.

And then we get sick. It can be as simple as a cold, or something more serious. In can be anything in between. It will probably look unrelated. It will probably piss ourselves off because it will slow us down.

The one thing we should have done long ago will now be on the table.

Slowing down.

Looking inward.

Looking for what makes us feel bad.

Looking for things we didn’t say.

Looking for things we didn’t forgive.

Looking for things we are still holding on to.

Looking for tension and inflexibility.

Looking for the inner little child.

Looking for the patterns repeating themselves.

Looking for the story we keep telling even though we don’t like it.

Looking finally for things we wish we could change.

And then having the courage to take one step in that direction.

This makes us feel a little better already.

This is one path to recover.

Not necessarily the easiest or fastest, but might be my favourite nonetheless.

Over the years I have learned to understand my sore throat, my sinusitis, my cold and flu. Eczema is on I still don’t quite get. Scoliosis another.

What are the things you’ve learned thanks to your body? Deeply, inwardly I mean. Not just to rest and take care.

Lessons like standing up and speaking for ourselves, protecting and honouring our needs, showing up with more authenticity….

Speak soon

Floriane x

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Finding, learning, growing

I really don’t know if anyone experienced the same thing.

I started my business 5 years ago.

I had a rough idea of where I wanted to go with it.

It became more and more precise with the years as I learned about myself.

I naturally get excited about new discoveries, every time I would find something and think of it as ‘this is it!!!’

Every time I thought oooh this is what my business is meant to be.

same with my life, weirdly I have much more clarity regarding my love life.

Now I am having yet another eureka moment and I do feel like ‘yes this is it!!’ but I know deep in my heart that this is just the clearer step I can see.

It is meant to evolve and grow and change because my dream is to build a business based on my life and what I have learned.

For that I need to stop acting shy and genuinely own it, I need to show up and myself. Great words.

And of very little use if you don’t know deep in your heart who You Are.

So all steps come together, you start with a first step, then a second, then a third and then you go back to your first step and you keep dancing around until it doesn’t make any sense to follow a straight direction.

Do all steps at once AND one at a time.

Dance for fun AND have some rest

Finally Find IT AND keep learning and growing.

There is no need to look for the perfect answer because the one that exists only exists in That moment.

Note to myself: if in doubt just have fun –


Floriane x

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Meditation 29/09/21

I am taking you on a walk today.

I’d like to you close your eyes, breathe in deeply. And then out. Again.

Let your body relax on your chair, feel the connection between your sit bones on the floor, or your feet.

Imagine now a beautiful forest. There is a lovely trail hidden between the branches. The sun shines through the leaves. There are pines on the ground and needles, you can see different sort of trees: huge oak tree, sycamore, fir trees…

As you walk you realise people are following you, chatting around, you don’t know exactly how many, but more than 10 that’s for sure.

As you reach a view point you can see a bench near a rock wall and the sun that comes up on the hills.

You stop and sit on that bench.

In that dream of yours you also close your eyes.

And you breathe deeply.

As you breathe more and more deeply, as you become your breath and begin to loose track of time you hear a pop. For each deep breath you take there is a pop. People around you are disappearing in a pop. Slowly you find yourself on your own. Slowly you begin to actually feel where you are, you become conscious of the trees around you, of the birds singing up the trees, of the smell of the forest. Slowly you begin to feel that heavy silence you know the one that announces serenity and peace when you enter a church or a library.

You become more and more peaceful.

The voices in your head fade.

The sunlight warms your skin.

You open your eyes and you feel whole again.

You belong to yourself again.

You are one again.

Enjoy and soak up that feeling for as long as you wish.

And when the time seems right breathe deeply in and out again. Let go of the air in your lungs. Welcome the new air in.

Open your eyes.

Welcome back <3

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One of the thing that makes us start our self discovery journey is the eagerness to find our purpose. I have been pondering it.

Finding our purpose means more than that.

It means finding who we are, Finding what makes us unique. Finding out why we were born. Why did we have to be born if so many others are already doing and being what we do and are? What makes us special? What do we do better than others? What can make us happy? How can we help others? How can we Be more? Who are we supposed to become? What are we supposed to do? What is our place and role in the grand scheme of Life?

See, so many unanswered questions.

I am wondering which ones you already asked yourself, which ones are resonating with you, which ones you never thought of but now that I mention it…

And which ones I haven’t think of yet.

My recent questioning has been around our uniqueness. Or to put it simply, my uniqueness. Haha. I always ask those question to myself and try to answer them for myself first. Sometimes I get hubby involved, or my mum, they’re my two favourite people with whom I can philosophize.

I have no problems holding different, even opposite truths in my mind at the same time. I just need to find the logic that connects them. I genuinely can’t relax until I have done so. And trust me there a tons of surreal questions I ask myself, which means I tend to live in my mind more often than I should and the work for me is to ground my self in my body and reconnect to it as much as possible. Digression.

Part of me, slightly arrogant me, believes that I am unique and somewhat better than others. (Got to be honest)

Part of me genuinely believes that I am not better or worst than others, just another human being.

Part of me asks my subconscious if I truly believe more in one or the other.

Part of me just doesn’t care and goes on with her life.

Part of me thinks I should share this enlightening discovery with others.

Part of me finally came to the conclusion that I am both, unique and common. That my role can be whatever I fancy, the goal that makes me feel good is to be happy so as long as I allow life to be this way, as long as I makes choices that bring me there, as long as I do and am happy. Then I’m good.

I don’t know yet which form it can take. That’s everyday’s surprise.

But I know this is a lifeline I can trust, a belief I can hold, a path I can walk on.

How about you?

Speak soon,

Floriane x

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I wrote a book

I have been writing for years, but nothing made it to the final step of publishing.

This time it did.

I wrote about Mindfulness, I wrote about life, I wrote about what it means to be alive and live as a human beings fully present and aware of his abilities.

Over the years I have found that mindfulness and more precisely self awareness made everything feel better.

I gained clarity, I gained understanding, I gain energy and joy.

By being aware of my emotions, by shedding light on my patterns and reactions I really got the know myself.

This makes the whole difference.

You can do anything, you can feel anything, you can be anything, as long as you firmly stand grounded and feel connected to yourself it’s all good.

I have another book that has been collecting dust on my laptop for the last couple of years (is it? ) and I might very much publish it now.

The first time always is the hardest, then it’s just a matter of repeating it enough to master it.

I also want to write in French.

And to write book 2 of Mindfulness by Yourself.

I am buzzing ideas.

It’s funny how it works once you genuinely trust yourself and take that leap of faith.

Life feels so much lighter and funnier.

I highly recommend you try it.

With love,

Floriand x