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Out of the darkness

I have all the reasons to celebrate. I have come out of the darkness.

Today my yogi tea quote said: without darkness we wouldn’t know light.

Usually I hate these obvious quotes.

Usually I don’t even bother reflecting on them.

But as I listen yet again to a conversation with @melanieannlayer I remembered my femininity. I remembered where i come from, what I have been through, Nothing huge, but emotionally for me it was.

I moved from being very depressed at the single idea of working my whole life as a physio.

I couldn’t see the light out of the tunnel.

I went back living with my mum who took care of me as if I hadn’t spent 5 years doing things for myself. I couldn’t even get in touch with my friends, I had no energy, no will to do anything, no desire to have fun.

Life seemed pointless. I didn’t understand. Nothing made sense. And I didn’t find anyone to talk to. Except my mum. Except my then boyfriend who is now my husband.

I knew somehow I had to wait even if I couldn’t possibly phantom how. The first opportunity that presented itself was my boyfriend internship in Germany. I knew I had to move, I knew I had to take action no matter what it looked like.

I didn’t speak a word of German I moved in with him for 9 months. I did cleaner job, I did tutoring jobs, I did waitress job.

Then he was offered to do a EngD in London, again I followed him, that was the action that was the closest to me being happy. I managed small jobs.

After a year I finally gave up on physio. I had in mind to start my own business.

I chose Pilates teacher and Massage therapist to start with, it went pretty well.

Until I hit the wall again, I could try as hard as I wanted to do it, to prove myself worthy, to make it happen. I couldn’t lie to myself for too long.

My body reacts very quickly, usually with eczema. I become exhausted, I become irritable and overwhelmed. I have to force myself to be that kind version of myself I know I am. I gave up. Again.

Over times I made the conscious decisions not to take that path, even though everything looked good and success was within reach. It didn’t make sense.

Not many people understood. Fortunately my friends, my family, they didn’t need to understand to support me. I pivoted. Multiple times.

I gave in to life coaching, it had been on my mind for years. I wasn’t fully qualified for it, and didn’t intend to put myself in a box again. I tried. Shyly. I tried and life kept happening. I kept showing up in some ways. I kept learning about myself. I kept accepting, handling, evolving, gracefully. I kept feeling miserable at times, but I could tell it wasn’t like before, it was less intense, it lasted less long.

Slowly I became able to tell who I was, even when emotions overwhelmed me. without realising it, life became exactly what I wanted. I have a beautiful loving family. I live somewhere I feel I belong. I feel genuinely deeply happy. I feel one. I feel like the world itself is a happy place. I feel connected to this world.

Without realising it, no trumpet, no jingle song, I joined the light. I have left the darkness behind me. There still are some shadows showing up from time to time.

But My path is so clear, the sun shines brightly above it and whispers promising secrets to my heart.

I have found my way back home, back to myself and I know that nothing can ever happen to me again now that I am united again.

Now that I am one, now that i feel whole.

During your journey, remember to stop sometimes. Let your soul catch up. And watch how far you’ve come.

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It’s okay to live for RomCom

Of course I am saying that!

I truly have moments in my life (entire months cough cough) when I am just binge watching feel good movies. And I don’t mean movies where the main characters overcome big struggles and difficulties.

No.

I mean feel good movies that start well, go well and end well. No huge surprise, no big plot, no actual twist. That’s Hallmark Movies for you.

As much as I know those are not actual proper movies one should watch; I am always watching them at exactly the right timing and get the perfect message I needed to hear. Every. Time.

Maybe because I have started living life with more awareness.

Maybe because those movies are much deeper than what we give them credit for,

Nevertheless behind their look, their shallowness, their silliness; they actually send a message.

Once again never judge a book from its cover.

Same goes with people. Situations. Life.

You never know.

Go with it. Go with what you value. Go with what’s important to you.

Allow Life to surprise you from time to time.

You’re dancing, from one foot to another perfectly balanced and there is no way on Earth that something could shake you up and make you fall.

You’ll just improvise another move.

You;ll just go with it and keep doing your thing. With a bit of something else.

And that’s how you build your life.

Just one step at a time.

Indulging in what makes you feel good,

Assessing, but not judging,

Enjoying.

Speak soon

Floriane x

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Going with the flow VS controlling: what’s best?

For those only looking for the answer I’ll show mercy and give it to you: both.

Lol.

Now,

How can you be in the flow and be in control at the SAME time???

Glad you asked.

There is a matter of tension, You have to find the exact right amount of tension that will hold yourself straight and help you BE in the flow.

Sometimes you can dissolve yourself in the flow and lose every sense of matter.

Sometimes you have to remain yourself and truly BE while in the flow. Keep your substance and move.

That’s the kind of control that can go with the flow.

It’s the kind of control that help you pull a sail up, help you swim, hold your kite and so on.

To play with much bigger elements we have to be fully present. Fully BE.

The Universe for one is a much bigger element. So is life.

And we are true force of Nature whenever we flow.

Speak soon,

F xx

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Things to do when you made a promise to yourself that you just don’t feel like keeping right now

  • Don’t overthink it put yourself in the situation to do it, complain later
  • Actually, complain while doing it
  • Remember why it was sooo important for you to do it
  • Think ‘that’s okay I’ll do it tomorrow’
  • Remember all the things you’ve never done because of tomorrow
  • Remember you said you wanted to shift your life slowly towards a new direction
  • Remember you thought about it and decided that this promise was that one easiest thing to do to bring you there
  • Still complain
  • Start enjoying it
  • Feel in your bones why it was so important
  • Feel proud of yourself
  • Look at the thing done
  • Think ‘it was hard, it’s certainly not perfect but I can say I’ve shown up for myself’
  • Probably start over next time

Yeah, you can tell I decided (last week) to write down one blog every Thursday. Just to get the words flowing again and to take that time for myself to reflect and share the bits and bobs I learn as a human being and now new mum.

You can be mindful all you want it won’t prevent you from boredom, tiredness and this naughty wish of cheating aka ‘not do it this ONE time’.

Well, I am pretty good at giving myself some freedom and allowing my soul and heart to skip chores and unexciting things regularly but when it comes to commitment I have made it can be a bit tough.

I have decided years ago to make promises to myself and to keep them. It was at the time a way to show myself how trust worthy I was, perfect to boost my self-esteem and self-confidence.

On a day to day basis however it ain’t so easy! I can use all the mindfulness in the world, I still get caught up in the daily little drama and holding my promises doesn’t always feel very glamourous.

Sometimes it just is this: a blog that doesn’t go anywhere but that I will keep, share and even be a little proud of because it is yet another proof that I showed up for myself. Once more.

We all know how tiny little decisions brought together make a life and a reality.

What promise to yourself are you keeping?

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Woman, stand in your power

I just finished reading an excerpt from a book called If women rose rooted by Sharon Blackie.

It was about everything I love: women who get their power back and how history changed the story we tell about ourselves, how it has not always been this way, how we could write a new story now.

And yet I always have mixed feelings when it comes to feminism. I believe in women, in our wisdom, in our freedom and in every single dream we have. However I do not believe in reacting, in opposing or fighting back.

There is a paradox here that exists in feminism but also in any other cause we have to fight for justice.

  • By fighting back you give what you fight against power.
  • By simply rising above and doing your thing you lead a much more powerful fight.
  • By stating the obvious and acknowledging the injustice you get your power back.
  • By doing what feels right for you regardless of what you should be doing you are standing in your power and as I like to believe you are unstoppable.

There is a scene from the movie ‘The Lady’ that changed my life:

Aung San Suu Kyi standing in front of an armed soldier, clearly meant to stop her and scare her. She looks at him in the eye, says nothing and just keeps walking. Nothing happens. The soldier let her go.

Every time I need to recall that feeling of standing in my power and freeing myself from ANY expectation this is the memory I connect to.

Before I had my daughter I knew I wanted to teach my child the importance of being – neither against nor for – simply being.

There is a drama we all get caught up on, a story we all like to hear when the good guy finally rises back and defeats the bad guy. No matter how catchy this story is there is something we miss when we hear it.

This is victory when the good guy only does his thing, not trying to voluntarily stop the bad guy but instead does what he believes is right. Can you feel the difference?

It’s not so much about what you do but why you do it.

Women’s wisdom and power is the key to a much better world for sure. Not by fighting back – It’s a waste of our time, energy and power – but by finally embodying shamelessly and proudly everything that we are.

Allowing yourself to show up as you are is the fight that is going to make a difference, at the end of it it’s what we fight for isn’t it?

Conclusion?

I am going to show up more and more as I allow myself to fully be. I will shine bright focusing on who I am, what I believe in, what I feels is right – and as they say I will do me. I trust that by doing so my daughter will see a world where you don’t have to fight in order to be you – you can hijack the process and go straight to the finish line: Be you – Do you – Have fun.

Book and movie references

The Lady – movie trailer

Sharon Blackie’s book

music I listened to when writing
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21/01/21 Message of hope

To anyone who is out there looking for the light out of the tunnel,

There is one, I promise you

It’s closer than you think,

Paceyourself, give it time,

I know it is not easy

But you will get through it

I have been there,

I have waited for the answer

I have felt the despair

I have asked myself why bother

I have seen everything in all shades of dark

If this is you, know this

It gets better,

The opportunity will come

The light will shine

You will feel better

  • Talk to people that make you feel good
  • Listen to people that make you feel inspired
  • Do little things every day that make you feel alive – even if it isn’t much it matters
  • You matter
  • One day at a time my love,
  • one day at a time

When I say that life is good I genuinely believe it

I am an optimistic because I choose to

I know how far down being pessimistic puts me

Relentlessly I choose to be happy, to be loved and to love

Every morning I choose again

The life I have

The relationship I’m in

The work I do

The friends I have

The food I eat

They are all choices I make

I choose to be alive and feel alive

I choose how life gets to feel to me and I seek those feelings

Bring that joy back. Take a step back. Make everything a choice. Raise your consciousness. Reach for the light. Make life worth living.

There always is a way to make your light shine.

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More about HappilyMoving

HappilyMoving has been created a long time ago already. It has become what it is only recently but the values it held have not changed.

HappilyMoving stands for change, life, happiness, mindfulness and meaningfulness.

It has been a long time dream to help people follow their flow. Behind those cute words is only hidden something we all know to be true but have forgotten along the way; too busy we are running around.

Life is movement. It works and is greatly understood physically. But it also has great meaning mentally, emotionally, spiritually and socially.

Thinking out of the box – being able to perceive things differently

Bending like the willow tree so that we do not break – whatever is happening around does not have to change your inner self

Having the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference – Act and do not react, keep creating your life

Know thyself – the very place to start

No offense to Lao, but ‘watch’ gives a sense of control and things we must do. I would have chosen the verb ‘choose‘ for it is always your choice and there is no requirement for you to do so.

Our life is a work in progress. We are learning as we go. We have no need to do things perfectly or by the book. We are naturally drawn to feeling better and experiencing happiness. When we let it guide us we allow ourselves to feel free and step out of the small box the world has created for us to create our own.

With love,

Floriane x

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From inner leadership to self awareness (and vice versa)

Lifestyle has evolved and we with it; but fundamentally life’s basics are the same.

We need to feel safe, to breathe, to sleep and eat.

Maslow pyramid of needs says it very well!

Once you start digging a little in that direction you realise that many things are being said. You also realise that it doesn’t matter, what only matter to you, in your life is: your OWN TRUTH.

It is how you will perceive what’s happening,

it is how you will feel about it

and it is what actions you will decide to take.

Your life.

Your truth.

Your Self too.

All of it starts with you being aware:

  • Being aware of your body for sure, it is a nice place to start.
  • Being aware of what is happening in the world.
  • Being aware of your own mechanisms is a little trickier.
  • Being aware of your core values is a good one, as well as finding out what matters to you and what is at stake.
  • Being aware of our interactions with others (we are social animals after all) and realising how easily we can let go of things just because deep down we know that it no longer serves or affects us.
  • Being aware of our emotions and recognising that although we might feel sad, angry or even thrilled those are just feelings and don’t always represent well who we are.

Those are big steps on the self-awareness path.

Wherever you are, just know that it is perfect and that you are right on time.

Keep moving, keep learning, have fun along the way and get closer and closer to who you really are.

Honour yourself more than you did the minute before.

You will eventually see how life can gracefully unfold before you and how much you can enjoy it.

An innate leadership has been with you from the very beginning. It is this feeling that pushed you forward, that made you take decisions even when you didn’t feel like it and that you have learned to trust more and more every day.

This inner leadership is transforming your life from within and it is leading you towards the best version of yourself.

Floriane x

Share with us about your self-awareness journey! We would love to know where you are at and how you feel about it <3

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Mindfully deciding in life

We started the week with a quote from the Tao Te Ching;

The Tao never does anything, yet through it all things are done.

I hope you gave it some thoughts and then let it go somewhere in the background of your mind where it will find its way to your conscious.

This is how I deal with big (and sometimes small) things.

  • I think about it. Hard.
  • I let it go or as my mum would say I sleep on it. But sometimes it takes more than one night – I am a slow decision maker!
  • I go back to the idea, or sometimes the idea comes back to me once it all settled down and my subconscious did its job.
  • I double check my answer with the values I hold dear, what I know to be practical and pragmatic and what I also know to be vital to me.
  • I make my decision.

And… drumroll….

  • And new precept unveiled thanks to by dear hubby: I try not to think again about it and what else I could have decided!!!! This is what usually drives me crazy. There are no other ways to put it, I am part of the overthinker’s tribe more often than I care to admit. #darkside

And this is where I reach my point.

In those moments, when I try to remember that there is no need for me to think again about it. I remember this quote from the Tao:

The Tao never does anything, yet through it all things are done.

It doesn’t matter they use the word Tao in it, really replace it with anything you like that makes sense to you.

What matters is that it is the perfect combination of words that reminds me that I don’t need to get the perfect answer! It doesn’t have to be spotless or flawless. It just has to be a decision. That’s it.

No more overthinking. No more overachieving. No more perfectionism (I see you).

Your decisions are good enough as they are. And everything else will be taken care of.

It never does anything and yet it leaves nothing undone.

Live your life, make your decisions, embrace your dreams, be happy and everything else will fall into place.

It is not a chess game where you have to plan the 120 moves in advance plus casualties.

It is just your life and it doesn’t have to be perfect to be brilliant <3

Floriane x

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Self-confidence, what should I do?

So much has already been said about self-confidence.

Some ideas that comes back frequently are:

  • Stay away from negativity and focus on positivity (who is still not doing it?)
  • Change your body language and image (not an easy one, physical activity helps)
  • See mistake as lesson not failure
  • Prepare more (so you’ll feel more confident in what you do/say)
  • Go back to the list of great things you’ve already achieved (works wonders when feeling down)

But confidence is not just about following some guidelines and miraculously finding it at the end of the road.

Confidence is a feeling you must feel, it is something you must believe in that is so strong that it will stay present and fight by your side when hard times come. Not just a fancy idea you have when all is well. I mean, it’s a good place to start but not where you are headed.

Those are my words to the unsteady you who is not quite sure she can be confident at all time. And who still believes she has to show great strength and know everything to be a confident woman. Here is my secret:

You are a confident woman when you doubt, you are a confident woman when you fear, you are a confident woman when you cry.

Confidence is not this absence of doubt. Forget it if it is what you believe. You will doubt. Oh yes believe me you will; but at the end of the day you will overcome the new challenges. Because you have this strength within you, you have this faith in you; you know you can do it. And that in itself is more powerful than anything else. What matters is not to know it all. What matters is to be able to look for solutions and be creative and open minded to find those new ideas, to heal a relationship that matters to you, to stand up for yourself in front of people, to say stop or no when times are needed. This is self confidence.

And from there come assertiveness, trust, self regard, and freedom .

Confidence is part of you the same way your hair is blond or your eyes are brown. It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, you are those things.

And I believe that you are confident, that you have this self confidence that creates miracle; and I will believe it very strongly until you do.

With love,

Floriane x