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The perks of being unwell

I believe I already wrote about it but it still amazes me so here I come again.

I’ve had an amazing week last week when my dad came to visit. We used to be like dogs and cats and always (lovingly) arguing with each other. It got to the point where I became tired of it. I just wanted something else and nothing I could tell my dad seemed to change anything. Most probably because I kept telling him all the wrong things he was doing and how I was so unlike him.

Recently we shifted and changed that story.

I keep being annoyed at him and telling him when he’s not doing something right #virgomode but I don’t cling onto it. And it changes everything. I can laugh at my overcontrolling self. I can laugh when he is mocking me. He sees when I am right, and because a father/daugther love can’t be broken he keeps accepting my ever growing changing self and I accept that he is not indeed the perfect dad I wanted him to be and it’s perfectly fine as it is.

That being said, I managed to catch a cold when he was visiting and I did my best to take care of myself and rest to avoid being too sick so I guess I just avoided the worst.

I shared on Instagram in my stories about my love/hate relationship with sickness. I love it because it helps me ground myself , rest, and focus on what’s really important. I hate it because it doesn’t feel good at all, I have to slow down way too much and everything becomes unbearable.

Talking about mild sickness here like a cold, sore throat etc..

In those moment, I always reach a point where I get to decide whether or not my life is good.

And every time. Every single time. I always finally decide that Yes, my life is indeed very good.

It’s a shame I have to wait to be sick to feel this truth so intensively. I can feel it every other day too, but the truth of it when I am unwell is different, it makes me feel different. I just see the world with different (very tired?) eyes.

Both stories to say that indeed feeling good, being happy, having a good life is a choice we make every second.

It’s not always easy and sometimes the only thing that feels like feeling good is dwelling on things forever and that’s ok.

There will be a time when you feel like you’re ready to get over it.

The more you become aware of those sensations and feelings. The more you practice consciously choosing. The more you will be able to choose different sooner.

That’s it.

Choose now, or later, it’s all good.

The story is yours.

Speak soon,

Floriane x

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Another meaning

Not long ago I had an epiphany.

I really started to feel what it means to let go of something consciously.

You are not holding it back trying to forget about it. You are not avoiding the feeling. You are not dwelling on it either. It’s something else.

So much has been written about it already but again you have to see (and feel) for yourself to really get it.

How to hijack it? How to learn it already? How to reach that supposed next level?

It seems like we are always in need of progressing, evolving (which is great) at hyperspeed (which is great too). But what if trying too hard and constantly looking for more or faster becomes a flaw? What if the process itself of becoming ourselves, grounding ourselves, living better leads us to more stress instead of making our life easier?

Feeling good and happy is what most of us are looking for isn’t it?

How do we not forget that in our search for embodying so much goodness?

Answer lies most likely in the present moment. Again.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Be present.

Be here,

Everything you are looking for is already here.

Everything you long for is already here.

Look at your goals and dreams and thank them for lighting your path and giving your directions.

Thank yourself, your body, your mind and your heart for reminding you of what is important at each moment.

The now. Just the Now.

Our life is a succession of Now.

Aim for a future.

Strengthen your arm.

And Fire away trusting that Now is exactly what you need.

You do not have to do anything else but living the Now.

You only have to make a decision Now. To smile Now. To feel good Now.

Build a happy life by feeling good Now. It’s the only way to look back and see the succession of Happy Nows.

So the answer is in you.

Let go not because you want to let go (which you want of course but your intention isn’t there) but because it’s no longer a part of you. It is obvious to you that you do not need it anymore.

How to get there????

Find this mushin place, this no mind place.

Find it in meditation. Find it in breathing. Find it in mindful moment. Find it in happy moment. Find it in sad moment. Find it outside. Find it inside. Find it exercising. Find it cooking. Find it falling asleep. Find it waking up.

Find your innner peace. Feel it. Find it as many times as you need and want.

Make a habit of being in this no mind state.

Only then can you feel and see things as they are. Just things.

Only then can you detach yourself from your emotional reaction.

Only then can you decide in peace.

Only then can you build a serene life.

One moment at a time <3

Speak soon

Floriane x

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Self-confidence, what should I do?

So much has already been said about self-confidence.

Some ideas that comes back frequently are:

  • Stay away from negativity and focus on positivity (who is still not doing it?)
  • Change your body language and image (not an easy one, physical activity helps)
  • See mistake as lesson not failure
  • Prepare more (so you’ll feel more confident in what you do/say)
  • Go back to the list of great things you’ve already achieved (works wonders when feeling down)

But confidence is not just about following some guidelines and miraculously finding it at the end of the road.

Confidence is a feeling you must feel, it is something you must believe in that is so strong that it will stay present and fight by your side when hard times come. Not just a fancy idea you have when all is well. I mean, it’s a good place to start but not where you are headed.

Those are my words to the unsteady you who is not quite sure she can be confident at all time. And who still believes she has to show great strength and know everything to be a confident woman. Here is my secret:

You are a confident woman when you doubt, you are a confident woman when you fear, you are a confident woman when you cry.

Confidence is not this absence of doubt. Forget it if it is what you believe. You will doubt. Oh yes believe me you will; but at the end of the day you will overcome the new challenges. Because you have this strength within you, you have this faith in you; you know you can do it. And that in itself is more powerful than anything else. What matters is not to know it all. What matters is to be able to look for solutions and be creative and open minded to find those new ideas, to heal a relationship that matters to you, to stand up for yourself in front of people, to say stop or no when times are needed. This is self confidence.

And from there come assertiveness, trust, self regard, and freedom .

Confidence is part of you the same way your hair is blond or your eyes are brown. It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, you are those things.

And I believe that you are confident, that you have this self confidence that creates miracle; and I will believe it very strongly until you do.

With love,

Floriane x