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Woman, stand in your power

I just finished reading an excerpt from a book called If women rose rooted by Sharon Blackie.

It was about everything I love: women who get their power back and how history changed the story we tell about ourselves, how it has not always been this way, how we could write a new story now.

And yet I always have mixed feelings when it comes to feminism. I believe in women, in our wisdom, in our freedom and in every single dream we have. However I do not believe in reacting, in opposing or fighting back.

There is a paradox here that exists in feminism but also in any other cause we have to fight for justice.

  • By fighting back you give what you fight against power.
  • By simply rising above and doing your thing you lead a much more powerful fight.
  • By stating the obvious and acknowledging the injustice you get your power back.
  • By doing what feels right for you regardless of what you should be doing you are standing in your power and as I like to believe you are unstoppable.

There is a scene from the movie ‘The Lady’ that changed my life:

Aung San Suu Kyi standing in front of an armed soldier, clearly meant to stop her and scare her. She looks at him in the eye, says nothing and just keeps walking. Nothing happens. The soldier let her go.

Every time I need to recall that feeling of standing in my power and freeing myself from ANY expectation this is the memory I connect to.

Before I had my daughter I knew I wanted to teach my child the importance of being – neither against nor for – simply being.

There is a drama we all get caught up on, a story we all like to hear when the good guy finally rises back and defeats the bad guy. No matter how catchy this story is there is something we miss when we hear it.

This is victory when the good guy only does his thing, not trying to voluntarily stop the bad guy but instead does what he believes is right. Can you feel the difference?

It’s not so much about what you do but why you do it.

Women’s wisdom and power is the key to a much better world for sure. Not by fighting back – It’s a waste of our time, energy and power – but by finally embodying shamelessly and proudly everything that we are.

Allowing yourself to show up as you are is the fight that is going to make a difference, at the end of it it’s what we fight for isn’t it?

Conclusion?

I am going to show up more and more as I allow myself to fully be. I will shine bright focusing on who I am, what I believe in, what I feels is right – and as they say I will do me. I trust that by doing so my daughter will see a world where you don’t have to fight in order to be you – you can hijack the process and go straight to the finish line: Be you – Do you – Have fun.

Book and movie references

The Lady – movie trailer

Sharon Blackie’s book

music I listened to when writing
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Self-confidence, what should I do?

So much has already been said about self-confidence.

Some ideas that comes back frequently are:

  • Stay away from negativity and focus on positivity (who is still not doing it?)
  • Change your body language and image (not an easy one, physical activity helps)
  • See mistake as lesson not failure
  • Prepare more (so you’ll feel more confident in what you do/say)
  • Go back to the list of great things you’ve already achieved (works wonders when feeling down)

But confidence is not just about following some guidelines and miraculously finding it at the end of the road.

Confidence is a feeling you must feel, it is something you must believe in that is so strong that it will stay present and fight by your side when hard times come. Not just a fancy idea you have when all is well. I mean, it’s a good place to start but not where you are headed.

Those are my words to the unsteady you who is not quite sure she can be confident at all time. And who still believes she has to show great strength and know everything to be a confident woman. Here is my secret:

You are a confident woman when you doubt, you are a confident woman when you fear, you are a confident woman when you cry.

Confidence is not this absence of doubt. Forget it if it is what you believe. You will doubt. Oh yes believe me you will; but at the end of the day you will overcome the new challenges. Because you have this strength within you, you have this faith in you; you know you can do it. And that in itself is more powerful than anything else. What matters is not to know it all. What matters is to be able to look for solutions and be creative and open minded to find those new ideas, to heal a relationship that matters to you, to stand up for yourself in front of people, to say stop or no when times are needed. This is self confidence.

And from there come assertiveness, trust, self regard, and freedom .

Confidence is part of you the same way your hair is blond or your eyes are brown. It doesn’t matter what you are wearing, you are those things.

And I believe that you are confident, that you have this self confidence that creates miracle; and I will believe it very strongly until you do.

With love,

Floriane x