We knew

Credit photo : mozlase_9 on Pixabay

You own your own way. And you don’t owe anything to anybody. 

You already own the world.

You’re building it up as you go.

You’re definitely not always enough.

You’re never saying the right thing.

You’re always a little out of balance. A little clumsy. A little shaky.

You don’t know how to fit in this world.

But still you’re trying. Over and over. And over again.

But it never seems enough.

So you try harder.

Every time feels like, yes I got it, this time I won’t give up, this time I’ll handle it. This time they’ll see and they’ll be amazed. So proud that I did it.

And when it works, well you still pushing further. Ok now I have to keep it that way. Giving up is not an option, I’ll be ashamed, I’ll be out, I’ll be such a failure.

And you keep up. And it drains your energy. And you’re more and more easily grumpy, and you’re easily tired, and you don’t have time to physically train your body. And it starts to hurt. And you eat comfort food because it makes you feel better for a moment. And it’s quicker, because you don’t have time. There is so much to do on the to do list. Always more and more. Always pushing again and again. Yes I got this, yes I’m part of the world. Yes I do exactly like the others, yes I’m succeeding in my life. Yes I’ve got money. Yes I’ve got a house. Yes this summer we all go spend a week in Greece. Yes I’m a fit. And you start  putting on weight, and you fit some more massages or physio to take care of it.

But really nothing change.

Because you’re not changing anything.

And the life you so hardly created caught you up.

And it is all your pride, your ego so you can’t allow yourself to give everything up. You should get over it. Because that’s what everyone do. Or so we think. This are the rules and either you play by them or you’re out. And it’s hurting so much to be out of the game, excluding by our own. So we keep playing.

And mostly, mostly, we certainly never take a break or a second to listen to that inner voice inside of us. We know we won’t be able to ignore it, we’ll recognise it as a truth and it will be too hard after all we’ve already done to change.

Here is the thing.

You’ll have too, eventually. After you get really sick, after you divorce, after something really bad happen, or maybe not in this life, or maybe just before your death when you’ll have all those regrets of all those things you’ve never done. Too busy to fit.

So why not now? Why not taking back your power and choosing. Like really deciding for yourself, instead of waiting for something to happen.

Oh my bad, I forgot. Because then you’ll have to take the full responsibility of your decision. You won’t be able to blame life, your boss, your wife or husband….

Here is the other thing.

Your freedom lies in your ability to take responsibility.

Your freedom lies in your ability to take responsibility.

Deep down.

You already knew isn’t it?

Be honest.

You knew.

And this is my last point.

This whole time you already knew. Don’t fake it. You knew and you decided otherwise. You knew but it scared you.

I don’t mind anybody’s lifestyle. As long as we agree on this.

We knew.

Deep down, in your heart, your soul, call it whatever you want.

We knew.

Floriane x

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